Most of us, and especially millennials, are seeking to work for leaders whom we can relate to; leaders who inspire us and we can see ourselves in. Now, being relatable is just as important as being knowledgeable. And in order to relate you have to share pieces of yourself, maybe more than you have in the past.
For some of us, this isn’t always an easy thing to do. Letting others see that we aren’t perfect puts us in a seemingly vulnerable position. But in actuality isn’t vulnerability a core dimension of leadership–demonstrating how one handles what life throws at them–the good, the bad, and the ugly?
Being vulnerable “ain’t always pretty,” but sometimes it sure can be beautiful and I believe that kind of beauty is rare in leaders. When leaders share a vulnerable side of themselves people gravitate to them, can relate to them, and are naturally pulled towards them. It’s irresistibly attractive.
This doesn’t come naturally to me. In fact, it’s quite difficult. It takes work for me to get to a place where I find, “a pretty good voice to write in,” as Bruce Springsteen shared recently in an interview about his upcoming memoir.
One area I’d like to share is a portion of my Emotional Intelligence assessment.
I am close to being “happy.” Happy being defined as, “satisfied with life; content.” I’m almost there and am on the right track. After sharing this, a mentor told me I might have a “high standard for happiness.” I think he nailed it. In truth, I am quite reflective, a bit of a self-critic and a borderline brooder. As the Downtown Abbey character Bates so aptly puts it, “I’m a brooder, and brooders brood.”
To quote the Springsteen article again, “inherently, Springsteen is a brooder; a serious, un-glib man given to puzzling out the mixed-up thoughts in his head.” Yup, that’s me too.
It causes me to need a lot of alone time; thinking and resting time. In addition, my senses have always been acute. I hear, see, and feel it all at an intense level. Behaviorally, I am stoic so I may not show it but there’s a lot going on in my head and not much gets by me. The intensity is draining. I often need to “put myself down for a bit” to recharge. I call it nap time. They’re quick naps but critical to my well-being. I can literally feel my brain putting things in order. And I like things in order in this messy world.
It took me a long time to embrace and accept that I need that rest. I had to get over the voice in my head saying that I’m lazy. There could be a million other things that I could be doing to be “successful.” I still struggle with it. Even though I have let it go more, it is an area I feel vulnerable about.
But being vulnerable is revealing who we really are. And isn’t this the journey we are all on? Becoming more of ourselves, truly understanding who we are at a deeper level, accepting ourselves and then sharing it if we so choose. Sharing the gift that is so uniquely each of us.
That’s the journey I’m on and as I learn it, I teach it. It is why I’m so passionate about what I do. I absolutely love the complexity of the human condition. And I love helping others understand their complexities, embrace them and then expand, especially as leaders. Does it make them better as leaders? I believe it does. 100%. Does it make them happier too? I like to think so and I do brood a lot about it!
I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Are you feeling like your vulnerability is a strength?
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