Have you been emotionally hijacked lately?
You know, that feeling when your brain takes a Tahiti break because your emotions have taken over?
It happened to me at a meeting recently. Politics came up, which seems inevitable these days. Nevertheless, it was a belief systems clash–clear as day. My beliefs (and motivators) were in opposition to the person speaking. Not to mention, our behavioral styles were completely different too. Warning signs should have been going off all over the place. My brain should have been saying, “Don’t engage, take a breath, get up and get some water.” But instead, I spoke out, “Come on, are you kidding me? You really don’t think that way, do you?” Agh! And I teach this stuff!
My annoyance → turned to anger → and then to rage in 0-5 seconds. Fortunately, I can count on one hand the number of times this happens to me in a year.
It’s one of the reasons why I feel so strongly that Self Awareness is the cornerstone of expanding teams. We can manage what we know. Without it, one is clueless…to be frank.
I needed to remember the acronym ATM:
A = Awareness of emotions
T = what Triggered them
M = so I can Manage them
The word emotion comes from the Latin word “Motre:” to move. Emotions are energy in motion. Next time, like most other times, my awareness of my annoyance will allow me to manage the situation more effectively.
Here’s how that looks:
- I’ll be more aware that my I am getting annoyed.
- I’ll remember that I’m quite different than this person in many ways and when politics come up I’ll know that it’s a trigger for me.
- I’ll take some deep breaths and get up and move. This will get the blood moving back into my brain and the emotional hijacking will cease and desist.
- I’ll come back to my senses and know better than to try to change someone’s belief system. Just as I know how hard it would be for me to change my beliefs.
- I’ll agree to disagree by not engaging until I can process it and figure out a better way to understand them.
- I’ll try to empathize and appreciate where they are coming from.
Emotional hijacking is happening now more than ever within teams. In those instances, it can take up to four hours to get back to being productive after such an event. That is a costly encounter. The impact is even more costly if it’s happening multiple times in a week, or worse, a day.
Unlike behaviors and motivators, that are in large part related to genetics, self awareness is a skill that can be developed and improved. And improving it can directly and positively impact the bottom line. I’ve seen it work over and over again within teams and the ripple effects throughout the organization are measurable.
I’m putting together a new workshop for awareness building within teams. Have you or your team been dealing with emotional hijacking lately? I’d love to have a conversation with you. Email me or share your insights in the comments.