Recently, Bill Bonnstetter, the founder and CEO of Target Training International, opened up our annual conference with the quote “self-awareness is the breakfast of champions.” An immediate smile came across my face, an involuntary, though welcome response to how deeply the thought resonated with me.
That simple phrase rings true at every level of my being. I truly believe self-awareness is a key building block of one’s character and “the essence of success” as my husband so aptly put it. It’s our job to do the hard work of strengthening our character, and that work begins with self-awareness.
Back in the early days of coaching at a workshop in NYC, Thomas Leonard, the founder of Coach University and the coaching profession in general, said this,
“We all come into this world half baked and it is our job to put ourselves back in the oven to get fully cooked.”
Simply put, it’s called growing up. We all need to. And no one else can do it for us. We each need to take responsibility for doing the hard work on ourselves.
And yet, for most of us, this work is forced upon us. Something very painful happens that puts us at a crossroad. At which point, we can either look inward—at our role in the situation and understand it enough so as not to let it be repeated—or we can play the victim.
Self-awareness starts with looking inward. Choosing to truly understand ourselves—our actions, our decisions, our emotions and owning them. It can be a humbling experience. But a good dose of humility, however painful, is a necessity to beginning and continuing the self-awareness journey. It’s a journey that hopefully never ends. Rest assured, when hubris kicks in another dose of humility comes our way – it never fails.
But once that work begins, I have found that we become gentler with ourselves. I hear “oh that makes sense – that’s why I do that.” A fog begins to lift. You’re able to explain yourself better to others. Consequently, those others then understand you better and the reasoning behind your actions.
Self-awareness reduces the barriers in our minds that shut down communication and harden our hearts. It opens our hearts to others. You begin to see others more clearly. You begin to see why they do what they do, what their beliefs are, where they’re coming from. It makes you more compassionate and less judgmental. You can see things from their perspective. It builds your empathy muscle. It makes you care. You begin to use that information to build stronger relationships.
Self-awareness also allows you to make better decisions. You begin to teach others how to best treat you. You understand what drives you, what makes your heart sing, what propels you out of bed in the morning. You understand how you make decisions. You understand your blind spots and you avoid putting yourself in a position that highlights them. You know your emotional triggers, and you know how to control them. You no longer waste time over-reacting and making up for it later.
In terms of your career, self-awareness helps you set yourself up for success. You’ll no longer put yourself in a role that limits the opportunity for you to take advantage of your strengths. No longer will you accept a role that doesn’t fulfill your passions. You’re not so self-focused. You can get out of your own way. You are able to be truly present. It’s a rare quality and yet, it’s so attractive. Your “baggage” no longer gets in the way of business. All your attention can be focused on the results at hand.
So how does one go about raising our self-awareness?
Commit time to self-reflection. Hire a coach, find a mentor, take self-assessments. It will pay off ten-fold in more ways than you can imagine. But most of all, (and I’ve seen this happen many, many times) it will improve the quality of your life.
Sounds like a good breakfast to me!
One Comment